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reportaža

24. 2. 2021  Streams of Blood: Exhumed  (26. 12. 2020, San Luis Obispo California USA)
Report of a live-streaming show Goreified At The Grind Guignol

Well, everybody and then some knows how it is in the world today. COVID this, COVID that … Whatever rock you may have hidden under, you probably know that in Slovenia and most of the world there have been no live shows (with a few exceptions) since March last year. So it was only logical to (ab)use the tools of the Internet and put the live shows there. Hey, of course it’s not the same as being at an actual show, smelling your neighbor and avoiding the occasional kicks in the tender parts of body because you’re too old to mosh.

But, let’s be frank – if you were born in the 70s or 80s (insert an “OK, boomer” comment here), you probably did spend some time in front of your VCR watching the taped live shows which you borrowed from your neighbours (in my case, the older brothers in our building in my hometown Brežice, east Slovenia, the two guys that looked like James Hetfield and Jeff Waters). Was it Iron Maiden’s Live After Death? Sepultura’s Under Siege? Napalm Death’s Live Corruption? Or Metallica’s Binge And Purge? Judas Priest’s Unleashed In The East? And then some. Whatever it was, it did the trick. For most of us, the feeling was incredible. You were screaming your ass off while the old telly blasted Metal Godz in their undying glory. Hell, I’m so old school, that this still happens even in 2021. I just spent an evening drinking beer and blasting Judas Priest live from Long Beach California (1983 or something), sitting at my home desk while Rob & Co. metalized on my computer monitor.

So, now, being almost 40 years old, how can I enjoy the live show and support the band while there are no live shows. Simple. From my couch. Watching a free stream and buying exclusive merch (or CDs, LPs and cassettes at your local metal providers), usually paying less than 10 bucks for a ticket, and of corpse, filling the ice box with beers and chewing essentials (like Cheetos in the US or Smoki in Slovenia).

- I know this is the part where some people start ranting about how it isn’t the same as watching the band live, but: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE CARCASS! It’s pandemic and believe it or not (I’m watching you, flatearthers and conspiracy theorists!), 99.9 % of the world is in lockdown. So, sit down and shut up! (as Sick Of It All would say in the beginning of their awesome Built To Last album) –

OK, so where is this neverending stream of bad English and poor pop culture and metal references heading? Well, into the review of Exhumed’s amazing live show, Gorefied at the Grind Guignol.

American death mongers Exhumed are well known for their kick ass music, but in the time of lockdown their great series of Slay-Through’s, where capo di banda Matt Harvey shows you how exactly one can shred the awesomeness that is This Axe Was Made To Grind for instance, or their Chiller Theatre Series where the same dude expands his cirle of awesomeness (ugh!) by telling you which horror flicks and comics fuckin’ rule.

- note: The both internet shows are worth watching just for Harvey’s shirts or checking out their awesome metal as fuck studio -

So, when I caught the news about their upcoming live streaming show, I just went all Cheshire Cat and said: Hell yes!

The ticket was cheap, my beer even cheaper. The expectations were high. I mean – they’re Exhumed. If you ever saw them live or heard their music for that matter, you know ‘’these guys were made to grind you to death’’.  And in March last year, they put their show from California, filmed in 2018 on their Death Revenge Tour, onto the YouTube for you to grind it for free. It is awesome and then some.

You haven’t seen it already? Do it – you can watch Ultimate Death Revenge show here for free. Band sponsored!

But to end the damned 2020 with a one more official Exhumed live show – this time specially live streamed show by the gore metal gang – that was even better than the actual Christmas presents.

So, if you survived my text up to here, you shall be rewarded. Exhumed’s live(-an-ever-flowing-stream)ing show was a blast. It was sick and intense. It was everything I remembered from Exhumed live shows and then some. Minus the drunk guys in the back shouting ‘’Play something from the demo cassette!’’ Goreified at the Grind Guignol was and still is available at the mentioned link. For 10 bucks (or 8 bucks if you went for early bird chase). You paid, you got the e-ticket and you enjoyed it live on 26th December 2020. If you didn’t, you can still do it up until 26th March – for the price of 10 bucks.

And if streaming isn’t enough, the Exhumed guys offer you a free high-quality download. For you and your two imaginary friends to watch it for eternity!

The show is long, but dynamic. It shows Exhumed in perfect shape and razor sharp execution. The setlist tries to cover their lengthy discography, although it concentrates on their latest Horror album. The stage is covered with horror paraphernalia (TVs showing horror trailers, beer cans with … actual beers, Dr. Philthy dancing with his chainsaw and more). The band is hungry for live shows and if they’re nervous coz they are being under the scrutiny by the metal elitists who are watching their every move, they don’t show it – they just blast their brand of gore fucken’ metal. Gore metal is their business – and the business is good!

Between the songs they offer their thoughts on COVID-devastated world and they give you a glimpse into a world of being a band in the state of planetary lockdown. And they still manage to pass this time without giving you an additional reason to be depressed.

If you’re an Exhumed fan, than this gig is a must see. Have a glimpse through a special preview of their hit single Limb From Limb.

When the world returns to normal, we will see Exhumed gore their way through the clubs, festivals and torture chambers everywhere in the world. But until then, we will always have the stream (of blood) known as Goreified At The Grind Guignol. Buy the ticket, watch it, blast the speakers to bits and spill the beers in the name of Gore.

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